Toxic

by Aubrey Grey


I won’t say I wasn’t somewhat to blame.
But you my dear, were toxic.
You came in and scooped me up at my lowest– when I thought I needed you.
I didn’t know any better.

I was broken and you had all the right words.
You knew what to say to open me up and let you in.
The drugs were a nice relief as well.
We fell in love on drugs, and once they ran out, I realized how very wrong we were for one another.
And you my dear, were toxic.

So much, I wished I had changed my mind.
So much, I wish I could erase you and all the pain and sorrow you left for me.
I didn’t want much– just to breathe easy.
But somehow you suffocated and drowned me.
You my dear, were toxic.

I never knew what it was like to die until you left.
I never knew what it was like to live until I left.
I never thought I’d make it without you.

But the truth is:
A flower will only grow when watered, and nurtured.
And you were poison.
You, my dear, were toxic.

Warrior

by: Aubrey Grey

The first time we met, you were a warrior.
You had blood in your hair and a fire in your heart, and war in your eyes.
You saw me and I ended the war.
I set a spark- a collision that replaced that war with stars in your eyes.

However, the next time we met, you quickly changed your heart and tried to destroy mine.
The warrior I met was not as noble as he seemed.
This one tore apart heart strings, and tore down a loving hand.
This one set me on fire.
The last time we met, you were a coward.
You looked away as I spoke of the pain you caused.
You raised your hand at me a final time, and as I made you fall to the ground, I saw the fear in your eyes that you once saw in others.
You looked up with tear-filled eyes as I drew my sword, and led you straight to the gates of Hell.

You were never a true warrior.

I was.

Trembling

by: Aubrey Grey

Quite often I’ve found myself trembling,
Holding on to what I had hoped was left.
Watching him sink deep, away from devotion,
Watching myself fall farther away from the reality that he’s taken me for granted.
Wishing to go back to when it felt as though he loved me
Wanting to feel his loyalty by looking at his face alone.
Longing for what has been gone for quite some time.
One day you wake up and learn your darkest fears aren’t the boogeyman or Krampus–   Your darkest fear is to never gain anything in return for everything your oh so broken soul has dealt to the wrong people.

Enough

by: Aubrey Grey

Maybe it was too soon
Maybe we weren’t cut out for one another
Maybe it wasn’t meant to be

You thought I was different, and I thought you were, too
But sometimes, thinking isn’t enough

Sometimes, it takes multiple wrongs and hundreds of mistakes
To find that what you thought was best
Was really the worst
And that what scared you the most was inevitable

Whether you were ready for this was soon questioned
And the answers he was looking for– well
You couldn’t provide

So, it fell to pieces- it was pure destruction
You didn’t have the time or will to fix it
He asked why you wanted to leave, but no answer was good enough

Nothing you did was ever good enough
Whether you fought, whether you died for him–
Never enough

So you packed your things like the fighter you are
And you left with grief and anguish in your heart

Because to someone else, taking care of yourself was selfish
Because they didn’t feel the pain and torment they caused
Because to some people, it’s never enough to love them while you’re dying

But you were strong
And you will forever be
More than enough